On Monday I took on the bold job of cleaning up the Christmas bomb that exploded in my house just days before. My family took on the task of eating any leftover cookies while I put to sleep the decorations for another year. Once my house was finally put back in order, the only thing I had left was to put away the wonderful gifts that were bestowed onto us this year. Unfortunately there were a few that would not be put away...ones that would be returned to the stores they came from.
I always hate returning a gift, it feels so tacky. This person spent their time and energy finding you the perfect gift and the best you can do is say thanks but no thanks. However, this year I did it. I asked for the receipt and took the gift back to the store. I felt horrible. So what have I done with gifts of Christmas past that were from the island of unwanted toys. Two words- re gifted.
I'm a big fan of the re gift. I've re gifted wedding presents for Christmas, and Christmas presents for weddings. In my warped mind I somehow feel like this is more justifiable than asking for the receipt and taking it back. I don't mean to seem ungrateful, it's not that at all. Here is a good example of what I'm talking about. This year my husband bought me an air popcorn popper. Not once have I ever aluded to the idea that I wanted an air popcorn popper. Maybe when I was in college and had the munchies, but definitly not as an adult. So I re gifted it...to him. He liked it. Problem sloved, at least that one. So the question is, what do you do with gifts that you don't like? Especially gifts that can't be hidden away.
Thinking about all this reminded me of a time when I was not only faced with this question but I was put in a position of complete weakness. I couldn't return or re gift. For over a year I had to pretend that this gift, or rather these gifts were the greatest thing since sliced bread, when in reality I hated them.
My family and I were about to take our first vacation away from home as pet owners. Fortunately for us our neighbor, "Jane" offered to watch our cat and dog for the week we were gone. It was a huge burden lifted knowing that our dear friend would be taking care of our pets. What we didn't know was that she would also be taking care of our house.
After a week of frolicking in the sun we returned home to find some slight changes to our home. In our absence, Jane took it upon herself to decorate and do some minor repairs to our house. It was bizarre walking into my kitchen from a long flight to find cut out wooden hearts hanging on my walls. The further I entered the more horrified I became.It looked like Cracker Barrel had invaded! Every room on my first floor was covered in 1990's country decor. Not only that, but she had re-plastered some spots on our walls that were showing some cracks. She also mixed batch of paint to match the walls to make the work look seamless. Jane had also cleaned the blinds, washed the curtains and scrubbed the floors. We were amazed!
We thanked her endlessly for her hard work. You see, Jane had come to regard us as children of her own. We truly appreciated all that she did in our absence. There was just one thing. The decorations. They weren't my taste, I didn't like them one bit, and they were everywhere. However, I couldn't bring myself to take them down. For the remainder of the time we lived in that house I posed as a country decor loving girl. When we moved, I put them in a box and that is where they stayed.
Gifts. I've come to regard the act of gift giving for what it is, an act. It's not the present, but the action. It's the fact that someone on this planet chose you to receive a gift. A gift to show their love and appreciation for you. That part of the gift I keep with me forever. The part that counts....the act.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Singledom
I had the best evening last night baking Christmas cookies with Queenie. We downloaded some Christmas favorites to my phone then blasted them throughout the house as we baked away! The boys would pause their video games for a bite here and there, and occasionally would take a spin on the kitchen dance floor to their favorite songs. It was a delightful night, but it got me to thinking. What did I do before I had kids?
While my children were snuggled all cozy in their beds I sat sprawled out on my couch racking my brain for memories of my former self. What did I do on evenings like this twelve years ago? I would like to say that I spent my free time reading books, volunteering in the community and working as an ambassador for peace, but that would be a lie. In fact, I really couldn't remember anything, that is except all the stupid things I did back then.
For instance, once my husband and I were faced with a life changing decision-should we pay our electric bill or go to Cedar Point, an amusement park. I think the answer is obvious, we went to Cedar Point. Not only did we use every cent we had to experience some death defying roller coasters, but we also got the biggest bang for our buck! We arrived at the park twenty minutes before the "twilight hour" rates began, but we were so excited we decided to forgo waiting the few minutes and go right in at full price! Good choices, I know. I lived for a week without electricity after that little trip. My rationalization at the time was that it was summer. Who needed lights anyway? Or fifty dollars worth of meat in the freezer? Not us! We just needed the thrill of the wind in our hair.
Money wasn't something I grasped during my years without kids, and neither did anyone else that I knew. One time my husband sold his truck so he could buy a mountain bike. Never mind the fact that he sometimes worked an hour from our house. He needed that bike, after all he was going to be a professional mountain biker, right? Not! Another time my girlfriend was scrounging for change to pay her bills. We literally were scouring the streets and our apartments for spare change so that she could survive another week. Once we collected all we could, we took our pot of coins to one of those electric counters you see at the grocery store. Eighty-five dollars! That's what it came out to be. Did she take that money and put it toward her living expenses? Nope. Instead we thought it would be much more fun to blow it at a local pub. Boy, was that a fun night.
Now I look at money in a different light. That's what happens when you are responsible for three other human lives. Yes, life is different after kids. It's like you enter another realm after becoming a parent. Suddenly you find yourself in a whole new world you never knew existed. You go from living in a world of parties and sleeping in late, to playdates and book reports. If I said the word Zhu Zhu Pet* to someone without kids they would look at me look at me like I was an escaped mental patient. But if I said those two works to a parent I guarentee that they would break out into the story of how they bought the last two Zhu Zhu pets at Target, after standing in line for three hours, in the middle of the night, in the cold, on a Wednesday.
Besides making bad choices I don't remember my life without kids. It's like a black hole. I have two explanations for this. First, it could be that our children have brought us so much joy and love that our lives that once exhisted are meaningless and empty without them in it. Or second, God designed us to forget...so that we wouldn't eat our young.
Zhu Zhu Pet- a robotic hamster that runs around in a plastic "funhouse", the hottest toy of the Christmas season. Comparable to the Cabbage Patch Kid craze, for you thirty-somethings.
While my children were snuggled all cozy in their beds I sat sprawled out on my couch racking my brain for memories of my former self. What did I do on evenings like this twelve years ago? I would like to say that I spent my free time reading books, volunteering in the community and working as an ambassador for peace, but that would be a lie. In fact, I really couldn't remember anything, that is except all the stupid things I did back then.
For instance, once my husband and I were faced with a life changing decision-should we pay our electric bill or go to Cedar Point, an amusement park. I think the answer is obvious, we went to Cedar Point. Not only did we use every cent we had to experience some death defying roller coasters, but we also got the biggest bang for our buck! We arrived at the park twenty minutes before the "twilight hour" rates began, but we were so excited we decided to forgo waiting the few minutes and go right in at full price! Good choices, I know. I lived for a week without electricity after that little trip. My rationalization at the time was that it was summer. Who needed lights anyway? Or fifty dollars worth of meat in the freezer? Not us! We just needed the thrill of the wind in our hair.
Money wasn't something I grasped during my years without kids, and neither did anyone else that I knew. One time my husband sold his truck so he could buy a mountain bike. Never mind the fact that he sometimes worked an hour from our house. He needed that bike, after all he was going to be a professional mountain biker, right? Not! Another time my girlfriend was scrounging for change to pay her bills. We literally were scouring the streets and our apartments for spare change so that she could survive another week. Once we collected all we could, we took our pot of coins to one of those electric counters you see at the grocery store. Eighty-five dollars! That's what it came out to be. Did she take that money and put it toward her living expenses? Nope. Instead we thought it would be much more fun to blow it at a local pub. Boy, was that a fun night.
Now I look at money in a different light. That's what happens when you are responsible for three other human lives. Yes, life is different after kids. It's like you enter another realm after becoming a parent. Suddenly you find yourself in a whole new world you never knew existed. You go from living in a world of parties and sleeping in late, to playdates and book reports. If I said the word Zhu Zhu Pet* to someone without kids they would look at me look at me like I was an escaped mental patient. But if I said those two works to a parent I guarentee that they would break out into the story of how they bought the last two Zhu Zhu pets at Target, after standing in line for three hours, in the middle of the night, in the cold, on a Wednesday.
Besides making bad choices I don't remember my life without kids. It's like a black hole. I have two explanations for this. First, it could be that our children have brought us so much joy and love that our lives that once exhisted are meaningless and empty without them in it. Or second, God designed us to forget...so that we wouldn't eat our young.
Zhu Zhu Pet- a robotic hamster that runs around in a plastic "funhouse", the hottest toy of the Christmas season. Comparable to the Cabbage Patch Kid craze, for you thirty-somethings.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
My First Blog
Today is the day I embark on a new journey...the blog. Never in my life did I think I would become a "blogger", but I was inspired after watching the movie Julie and Julia (probably like a million other aspiring writers). So what do I hope to accomplish from such an adventure? A big fat writing contract would be nice! However, just in case that doesn't happen, this is my simple way to keep my creative juices flowing while documenting my life as a mother of three.
For the past five years I have been trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Most people do this in their twenties, but I was busy birthing children during those years. It was just after my twenty ninth birthday that it hit me like a ton of bricks or rather, in my case, a wreath.
It happened during a MOPS meeting. For those of you who aren't mothers you're probably wondering what in the world is MOPS. MOPS, which stands for Mothers of Preschoolers, is a place where moms can put their children in the care of someone else for a few hours so that they can regain their sanity. It's the equivalent to the lunch break you get at work, except it only happens once a month, twice if your lucky.
During this particular meeting we were making a craft. Oh joy, crafts. Needless to say I am not a crafty person. Aside from the occasional paint by numbers and half knitted scarves, I don't do crafts. However, I went with the flow. After all, I wouldn't get another break for thirty days. So, I began to make my wreath. I looked around at the other mothers hoping to get some inspiration from their creations, but instead got something I hadn't bargained on.
Some might call it a nervous breakdown, but I like to call it an epiphany. As I was standing there watching the other ladies smile and laugh as the interior designers in them came out, I couldn't help but realize this was going to be the highlight of my week. Let's face it, it was going to be the highlight of my month. A wreath. I kept thinking over and over in my head, 'This is what I do now. I make wreathes.'
It wasn't that there was anything wrong with making a wreath, it just was I always thought by that age I would be doing something much cooler. As a kid I had big dreams. For the majority of my childhood I envisioned myself in some way, shape or form as a writer. Sometimes it was a top investigative reporter, other times it was an advice columnist, but most of the time it was an award winning, best selling author. By the time I entered college I had decided I would become a teacher so that I could use my summers to write. Needless to say at that time I hadn't accomplished any of those dreams.
I can't lie, I did have one dream come true, though. A dream that I didn't realize I had until a pregnancy test revealed it to me. I had become a mom, but that's all I had become. Don't get me wrong, I loved (and still do) being a mom. I wouldn't trade that part of my life in a second, it's just that being a mom wasn't the only thing I wanted to be. Looking around at those other ladies that day made me see that I wanted more. I didn't want making a wreath be a highlight in my life. Especially a bad wreath.
That pivotal moment brought me to where I am today. I've done a lot of soul searching the past few years, trying to find my place. Slowly but surely I am finding it- and now I'm going to "blog" about it!
For the past five years I have been trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Most people do this in their twenties, but I was busy birthing children during those years. It was just after my twenty ninth birthday that it hit me like a ton of bricks or rather, in my case, a wreath.
It happened during a MOPS meeting. For those of you who aren't mothers you're probably wondering what in the world is MOPS. MOPS, which stands for Mothers of Preschoolers, is a place where moms can put their children in the care of someone else for a few hours so that they can regain their sanity. It's the equivalent to the lunch break you get at work, except it only happens once a month, twice if your lucky.
During this particular meeting we were making a craft. Oh joy, crafts. Needless to say I am not a crafty person. Aside from the occasional paint by numbers and half knitted scarves, I don't do crafts. However, I went with the flow. After all, I wouldn't get another break for thirty days. So, I began to make my wreath. I looked around at the other mothers hoping to get some inspiration from their creations, but instead got something I hadn't bargained on.
Some might call it a nervous breakdown, but I like to call it an epiphany. As I was standing there watching the other ladies smile and laugh as the interior designers in them came out, I couldn't help but realize this was going to be the highlight of my week. Let's face it, it was going to be the highlight of my month. A wreath. I kept thinking over and over in my head, 'This is what I do now. I make wreathes.'
It wasn't that there was anything wrong with making a wreath, it just was I always thought by that age I would be doing something much cooler. As a kid I had big dreams. For the majority of my childhood I envisioned myself in some way, shape or form as a writer. Sometimes it was a top investigative reporter, other times it was an advice columnist, but most of the time it was an award winning, best selling author. By the time I entered college I had decided I would become a teacher so that I could use my summers to write. Needless to say at that time I hadn't accomplished any of those dreams.
I can't lie, I did have one dream come true, though. A dream that I didn't realize I had until a pregnancy test revealed it to me. I had become a mom, but that's all I had become. Don't get me wrong, I loved (and still do) being a mom. I wouldn't trade that part of my life in a second, it's just that being a mom wasn't the only thing I wanted to be. Looking around at those other ladies that day made me see that I wanted more. I didn't want making a wreath be a highlight in my life. Especially a bad wreath.
That pivotal moment brought me to where I am today. I've done a lot of soul searching the past few years, trying to find my place. Slowly but surely I am finding it- and now I'm going to "blog" about it!
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