To Facebook or not to Facebook? That is the question.

About three years ago I got turned on to facebook. It was slow at first, and to be honest the only reason I signed up in the first place was to spy on my teenage step son. However, my spying took second seat after I dove deeper into the site.

I started getting requests to "friend" people, and being the open armed person I am, no one was denied. Through that I learned about cool apps that let me play scrabble with my best friend two hours away or a farm where I could grow virtual vegetables. It was fun and seemed harmless. Sure, I'd spend two to four hours a day logging onto the social network when I should have been writing my book, but it was fun. At one point I was even calling it research....yeah right.

Besides the games, pointless quizzes and notes about fun facts of friends there was one other cool feature that kept me logged on for hours....cyber stalking. I mean come on, let's be honest. How many people have you "friended" just so you could see if their life sucked more than yours. Facebook is they only place around where you can judge people all you want and not get called out on it! It's awesome to see that your ex married ugly or that girl who bullied you in high school got fat. Face it, we are a society that lives for others misery. If that weren't true, Real Housewives or Teen Mom would not be on the air.

Don't get me wrong, I love connecting with old friends and classmates. I'm really not that cynical, I am very happy to see people from my past succeeding in the world. It's great to learn of what has become of people. I love looking at pictures of their kids and their life. It's fun getting to know them again. I love to read about cute things their children say, or stories about their days. Facebook is can be extremely entertaining.

However, I have discovered there is a down side to knowing too much about old friends. I'll give you a prime example. A couple of summers ago I ran into an old classmate. She and I had been friends in high school and it was the first time I had physically seen her since graduation. She looked fabulous and her kids were just as adorable in person as they were on Facebook. Our reunion though was extremely awkward. We had absolutely nothing to say to each other because we already knew everything about each other. Strange, but true.

That run in got me to thinking, by connecting on a social network am I losing social decency? Sometimes I think about unplugging completely. I miss talking with people face to face. Half of the time when people want to tell me something it is through a text, email or Facebook. What happened to a phone call? What happened to going out to lunch? What happened to socializing?

I've heard about this epidemic (and I do me epidemic!) with teens. I've heard that teens will be at a party together, then leave early to go home to text each other. What? Huh? Are you kidding me? Perhaps this is why young people can't communicate. In an age of instant communication we have lost the ability to socially communicate. The scary thing is that with this new way of communicating we are losing something very important...compassion.

It's so easy to say things in print through a machine rather than saying something to someone in person. Sure I can criticize "friends" on Facebook, but can I take theirs? I post what I want others to perceive. I only try and post pictures that hide my weight gain over the years, I only write about things that I feel are safe and can't be judged. Am I real? Am I me? By being socially connected am I losing a bit of my humanity?

Right now I'm not ready to take the step to unplug myself. Especially with my kids beginning to enter the cyber socializing world. I do want to log on less and get out more. I think I'll need to take baby steps with this one.